Marriage, they say is an institution and a sacred one at that. It is an institution or a partnership that two persons go into and hope to stay in for life. And according to the bible, marriage is such that ‘a man will leave his father and mother and cling to a woman and they shall become one’. The institution is so sacred that it is until death do them part and because of this, before any marriage is instituted, the partners are expected to go through courtship in order to understand themselves, trust and believe in themselves, have respect for each other and be there for one another. But how many marriages are like what is described above and how trustworthy are the partners involved? Because of this Ika Weekly decided to seek public opinion on the topic: IF YOU DISCOVER A DAY TO YOUR WEDDING THAT YOUR PARNTER IS IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

           

Different persons gave different answers to the question. Some said they will continue with the wedding plans based on the reasons the guilty partner will render, others said they will quit and cancel the wedding; while others were uncertain on what they will do in the circumstance.

           

Speaking, Mormah Augustine, an undergraduate in UNIBEN, said, “I will postpone the wedding to see if it is really true, because it could be a rumour and what led to it”. He believes that the time of courtship is enough time to know each other and how much you love each other. He says that during the time, the wedding will be on hold, while investigations and negotiation will be going on to ascertain if she’s guilty or not, and if she’s found guilty, the wedding might be cancelled. “He said that if she is repentant and asks for forgiveness, he will ask her to work on herself and pray to God for forgiveness and insight, and at this time he too will be praying. According to him, marriage is not an easy thing and getting a life partner is also not easy, so he won’t be rash in cancelling the wedding but would wait and give the lady time to repent because to start another relationship is not easy. To him the only reason that will stop the marriage after the postponement is if the lady is un-repentant. He advises partners in a relationship to take time to study and know each other before marriage, because after marriage, there is no more second party.

           

Another person, Miss Ideh Joyce, a graduate of DELSU, Abraka says that for the wedding to continue, it depends on the extent of their love and the seriousness of his other affair. If the other relationship is such that he is already married to the lady, then she will quit her marriage to him but if it is not that serious, they will reach a consensus that he will drop the lady before the wedding. She said that even though she will be angry and blame herself for not knowing her partner well enough to have discovered such, she will want the marriage to continue to save the disappointment it will cause the family and invited guests.

           

According to Mrs. E.O. Ototo, “If I love him I will wed him because asking me to marry him shows he loves me more than the other lady and so I will forgive him and ask him to discontinue the other relationship”.

           

Mr. N.S. Ogana, said that he would cancel the wedding without thinking about his love for the woman, or her reason for doing what she did, or even the embarrassment that it will cause the invited guests, because a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. For him, the wedding will be cancelled not because of the other relationship but because she’s not trust worthy.

 

“If he met her first I will quit, but if he loves me more I will not. It takes the grace of God”, says Miss Uche Okwudegbe.

           

As regards the issue, Mr. Chinedu Udeh says sternly, “I will stop the marriage”.

           

Mr. Francis Vincent stated that he will not do anything about it but will try to understand what’s going on by asking his fiancée questions. Thereafter, he will advise her and will continue with the wedding.     

           

Cynthia Memeh said she will find out if the other relationship is more serious than hers.  If it is so, “I will call off the marriage. I am presently experiencing a similar situation in my relationship and I discovered that he loves the other lady more, so I quit the relationship”, she said. She advocates that love does not hurt and so for someone you love to do a thing like this, shows he doesn’t love you and so the marriage can’t be successful.

           

Mr. Ogboi S.O., a middle-aged man and a security officer at the College of Education, Agbor  said that occurrences in Nigeria could make one commit suicide. He said that he will see if the woman is still interested but if she is not, then he will go on with his life. According to him, “it is not a do or die affair”. When he was questioned on the issue of multiple partners, he had this to say: “if it comes to multiple partners, I will run for my life and safety”.   

           

Dear readers, the take home gift I have for you, is that you should be very watchful and prayerful in your relationship and make sure that your relationship is based on love, trust, the fear of God, understanding and respect for each other.    

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